This next post takes us into a super good place to access the gateway to a very very solid and positive vibe. The topic of AUTHENTICITY.
Authenticity requires courage and expressing one’s opinions and feelings honestly requires a level of self awareness and acceptance that is practiced by many, but elusive to most. Inauthentic governance of oneself is as common as an underage teenager using a fake ID to score beer and for the most part, the people who catch the distortion are either complicit or few and far between.
One of the most profoundly beautiful aspects of being a parent is to be immersed in the world of a child with no preconceived conditioning and see how brutally honest, open and truthful they are in their beings and expressions of themselves.
To govern yourself in this manner requires a level of free abandon & self acceptance, that only a few have mastered or even practice as adults.
Authenticity is related to Honesty.
Honesty puts you in Empowerment because it allows you to be REAL & AUTHENTICALLY YOURSELF
Honesty and Integrity go Hand in Hand
Let me ask you this and I would invite you to please take a few minutes to really think about this question.
Are you Living an Authentically Honest Existence?
From a very young age we are taught to behave in a certain way. If you behave in a favourable manner, you are deemed accepted and a “good girl” or “good boy”
If you behave in a manner that is unfavourable to the beliefs and governance of those in your charge, then you are “bad”
The only issue is, that for a good degree of a child’s experience, the adult negates to delineate the inherent worth and value of the child. As children we are taught to think and act in a certain way with the intention, for the most part, to maintain civility and goodvibes as a community of diverse humans.
There is a missing link, though.
Forcing a person to govern themselves in a way that feels unnatural to their own uniqueness stifles the growth of their true authentic self.
The fall out of this negation is that the child fails to learn and encompass that they are indeed worthy of unconditional acceptance and love regardless of their behaviour. The child takes on the negative attention from their caregiver as a problematic aspect of they themselves versus the child understanding they are beautifully adored and deemed flawless by their parent and are only demonstrating an undesirable behaviour.
This results in giving the impression that there is something inherently wrong with the child and their way of being. The seemingly innocent practice that is rooted in the desire to raise a good human actually backfires and you end up with challenges and struggles indicative of low self-worth and esteem.
This method of approach in raising humans diminishes the relationship the child has with their perception of their inherent value and results in conditioning a subconscious belief that it is necessary to seek approval and validation outside of themselves.
What’s up with that?
As individuals of this life experience, you and I both know that, firsthand, the only one who can know you, your thoughts, your feelings, your desires, your intuitions, your ideas, your triggers is YOU. People meet other resonant Souls where you can read a persons mind or have resonance with someones feelings but the physiological and energetic truth is that you are you and only you and no one else is like you because they are they and only they can be them.
Why would you have to solicit the approval of someone else to dial in your own vibe?
I propose a new model of parenting that respects and acknowledges the rights and free will that is an inherent part of being human, and that children, as well as adults are not entities to be owned or controlled but guided and nurtured. Full acceptance and unconditional love.
No comparisons, complaints or criticism. Full on communication, patience and understanding. It may sound like a pipe dream but here’s the deal – if you are practicing self responsibility and esteem and harnessing your own unique individuality and self care, you need not rely on your child to occupy your expectations and needs of them. When you encompass this energy as the fundamental energy of your environment you may be pleasantly surprised to see that your kids start acting more aligned with their true natures of emotional and nurturing beings and you need not correct or penalize undesirable behaviours, but more so model desirable ones in a space of freedom and respect.
Your child then becomes your biggest ally in terms of your ease in parenting them.
Good vibes, right?
I found my authentic self this last year at 39 years old and let me tell you – self-love and self-esteem cultivated with moderated, not inflated self-importance and an investment in the optimal governance of oneself switches up your life lines to a more empowered state of being.
And life feels really good.
I always deemed myself confidant, successful, popular and dialled in. In truth I was leading a lifestyle fraught with self-abuse indulging in excessive use of drugs and alcohol, dishonesty and all kinds of shade all the while giving off the impression that I was a fun fulfilled and confidant, fun-loving, free-spirited, loyal and committed gal.
My awakening arrived after I found that space in me after healing my suppressed childhood traumas that made themselves known to me after engaging in a very disempowering friendship indicative of the same energy. It was necessary for my evolvement but if you ever were to ask me about that period in my life, it is all kinds of opposite to a good vibe so leave it and learn from it and into the light we now go….
Having never done so before, I finally understood so clearly why I spent 25 years with and mastering the most abhorrent addictions and toxic behaviours. I see now so very clearly how inauthentic living takes place from our conditioning in our formative years and how the framing we receive in our youth, impacts our lives as adults.
What kind of conditioning is optimal to encompass into the being of such a formidable and fertile neural environment that is a healthy child?
One with the GOODVIBES is a solid approach, no?
I have witnessed and experienced that the worth and esteem of a child and their ability to accept themselves fully within, is unintentionally misguided and adhered to with conditions, causing the child to adopt an unconscious belief that in order to be accepted, deemed worthy and loved, they have to behave in a certain way and follow a certain path that is deemed “acceptable and appropriate” in the eyes of those who guide and surround them.
Very rarely do you find unconditional acceptance and love demonstrated as a way of being in the world and this is one of the reasons I believe that people lie their lying faces off.
It is not lack of goodness in one’s heart or intention of malice (although some people are so far from alignment they now get off on such pursuits) – the majority of people lie, omit the truth, negate to divulge certain details and even go so far as to live two separate lives.
This is all done with the underlying intention to be accepted or under the influence of the false illusion that they need someone else’s approval to be validated fully for who they are and what their deepest desires are in heart and mind.
Kudos to the confidant and open individuals who are killing it in the authenticity department. The formula for being raised in society presents us with an approach with what is appropriate socially and rules to be governed by, and education system to go through and laws to adhere to. I need only take a five-minute walk downtown and take a glimpse of the mainstream news to know that there are massive areas of opportunity in terms of the success of society’s structure and the level in which it is being governed in an integral and honest manner.
My readings and experiences with the law of energy have taught me to be vigilant in my distilling of verbal and nonverbal assessments unfavourably in any way, shape or form. I believe knowledge and education of one’s mind being of the utmost benefit to anyones cerebral environment. The benefits of satisfying an inquisitive mind and thirst for knowledge have led me down paths of insane empowerment, I am a huge advocate for the goodvibes of reading as a result.
One thing that became very clear to me in the aftermath of my own inner healing is that humans will normalize the most abhorrent acts towards one another and the earth upon which we live because of their own conditioned inner disharmony between heart and mind.
The Human Heart & the Human Brain are 2 Formidable Forces.
And yet we as humans run around looking outside of ourselves for power when in truth, we all contain the power within each of us to evolve and be our best own selves. The trick to that is to unite your own heart and mind with your own individual desires and goals.
The mind is analytical and the heart is intuitive. If a child is nurtured in a way that harnesses these two aspects of their own individual being and uniqueness, the impact of that particular child’s development can only yield a positive impact on the world around them.
When a person is able to feel valued, validated, accepted and empowered with unconditional love and not framed with repetitive unconscious conditioning they are offered the opportunity to rise to their evolved best self.
It is the conditions we put on our relationships, behaviours and expectations that prove to result in really messed up outcomes in all areas of societal governance. We are conditioned in a system where competition and one-upmanship are considered healthy practices.
We are taught that when your body is sick it needs medicine with hardly any focus on our beings as energetic systems and our connection with what Quantum science would deem “Free Energy” to heal and optimize our systems. We are sold the idea that there is one true love when in fact, we are so intrinsically connected energetically, this ideal is actually quite ridiculous.
Look at the fail rates of the institution of marriage or sexual misconduct in organized religion to see that the customs and beliefs society imposes upon a civilian very rarely yield the outcomes for which they are meant to intend.
We are all conditioned by our influences and environment when we are developing in our formative years and unless you are taught to think independently and question the influences in which are governing your shaping beliefs and wiring, you can fall into a trap and not even have a conscious awareness of its presence and impact on the quality of the life you live today.
Many people use terms that disempower themselves and they are not even aware of how limiting they are being in terms of framing their capabilities as a living and breathing human.
This just in.
If you take a minute to reflect on the divine and magnificent technology that is the human body and its relationship to its environment and other humans – the simplicity of it is profoundly beautiful, as is its complexity. One need only acknowledge that it is so. Take stock this week – how are people framing their experiences?
Empowering or in a manner of complaint, victimization and outward focus to what is happening around them, rather than the content of what is within them.
Back to the authentic card. It is all related. It is not your responsibility to take care of other people’s emotions. If you are game, read that again and sit with that statement in your mind for a few minutes.
YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE’S EMOTIONAL STATES.
Your emotional regulation is yours and yours alone which means the same for other people. I have seen a consistent display of dishonesty practiced with the intent of kindness behind it to spare someone’s feelings.
The problem with that is, being dishonest or omitting truths to spare someone’s feelings is actually really disrespectful and diminishing to the person. Who are you to determine what a person should or shouldn’t be entitled to in terms of truth?
Everyone deserves to know the truth and it is everyone’s job to regulate their own emotional and mental relationship to the truth. If you try to encompass an energy of compassionate understanding of another persons journey and emanate those good vibes out in your interaction, you can dial in some serious honest and truthful comments to a person without it having to be a weird or hurtful vibe.
Another thing I became aware of in regards to human behaviour when I was lost the depths of my darkest moments is the fundamental need of mutuality and acceptance that is inherently ingrained in us ALL as emotional beings. People lie in order to be accepted and find mutuality for fear of being rejected for their truth.
It happens everywhere in life – corporations, studios, small businesses, domesticated life. It is super disempowering. Fear of not being accepted and value worth vibes of a conditional love is a fundamental practice behind many peoples inability to be completely forthright in the truth of their experience. Most people have lived by the constructs and influences of a collective belief system.
I think it is of imperative importance, should our aim be to shift to more empowering way of being in the world that we all take responsibility of ourselves and our relationship in harnessing an optimal level of governance in the unity of both heart and mind in oneself.
So many look to outside of themselves for acceptance, approval and assurance that they are right and good in what they feel and think. You need not seek approval outside of yourself. Once you accept yourself completely and are honest about who you are and your authentic experience, the freedom in this way of being yourself is incredibly liberating.
The most successful relationships I have maintained that I would deem of value and empowerment are the one’s with my son and my partner and in both respects my main goal is to love without condition and provide them a safe space of acceptance and non judgement in their right to be free and individual – I do this because that is what I desire in the dynamic.
You get what you give.
My partner has had to endure and has handled, very stoically I might add, some serious misaligned energy and behaviour directed at him due to my unraveling in 2018 and for his presence and solidity and loyalty to me and the well-being of our family, I will remain eternally grateful to him and his presence in my life.
In any instance where I have needed to be completely truthful and honest about actions and behaviours that I were disloyal, dishonest and disempowering, he has accepted me completely, never judged me and always shown me a space of unconditional and unwavering love, loyalty and support.
I, too, have offered him the same attributes while witnessing aspects of his journey and here we are 20 years later and still discovering aspects of our individual selves and doing our best to live in harmony with our uniqueness and individuality.
These efforts have proven gold to our child, who is a very well taken care of, independent, free will loving and conscious little creature.
If someone has a negative reaction to your honesty, then you still are validated in being honest. There are ways to be honest and truthful about anything and still keep a vibe of kindness.
I learned that the backwards way by verbally abusing and degrading people I love out of my own pain and disempowerment and mental misalignment. I have to find forgiveness in myself for the harm I inflicted for those actions as hanging on to guilt is a toxic vibe.
Being authentic involves a level of self acceptance that at times can seem a stretch, but it is imperative to your personal power and evolvement.
Our natures as humans is to feel accepted and find mutuality amongst our fellow humans.
It stands to reason then, that if you express yourself truthfully and honestly, you may be with feelings of apprehension and doubt as to whether your honest perceptions will be viewed and accepted.
There is empowerment and freedom in being honest with yourself and with the people with whom you choose to share your life. Living authentically in your own life experience breeds a level of self acceptance and power that will allow you to be able to bring to fruition the very thing your unique combination of heart and mind were meant to achieve in this life.
The only thing you ought to stand to lose by being honest and authentic are the chains that keep you from reaching your truest potential as an individual.
When you capture your own unity in heart and mind and express it truthfully, there is the essence of veridicality that is unparalleled and it may cause some around you some discomfort, but you are not living for them.
You live for you and you alone and when you adopt a mindset of fully encompassing and expressing your truth, the energy and space this yields is all kinds of goodvibes for the relationships you keep in your life. When you are authentically yourself, you delegate an energy of existence in which this can be harnessed and mirrored with those whom you keep company.
Keep it golden my goodvibe companions.
Keep it golden.